School: Minister Destiny Testimony Schools Track: Youth Class: Topic Library — Year 1 (Foundations) Presented by: Minister Destiny Marie Morgan, Muslim Ordained Minister
This lesson is educational information and is not legal advice. Laws vary by state. If you are in danger right now, call 911.
Before you start
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- Pass the test at 80% or higher to earn this unit's certificate. You can retake the test as many times as you need — each retake presents the questions in a different order, with the answer choices in a different order too. Answers are not shown — go back, find what you missed in the lesson, and learn it for real.
- If you are in danger right now: call 911. If you cannot talk out loud, text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line) or call or text 988 any time, day or night.
- This lesson is about violence between adults at home. Read it somewhere you feel safe. The most important truth: violence at home is not your fault, and it is not your job to stop it. Ever.
The lesson
Part 1. When Fighting at Home Is Not Just Fighting
All families argue sometimes. An argument is not the same as violence. Violence at home — domestic violence — is when one person uses harm, threats, or control to frighten another person in the household, again and again, as a pattern.
It can look like hitting, pushing, or throwing things. It can also be quieter: one adult controlling the money, checking the other's phone, deciding who they may see, threatening them, or frightening everyone with shouting. A home can feel dangerous even when no one is hit.
Kids in that home are affected even if the violence is never aimed at them. Hearing it through a wall counts, and it can affect how you feel, sleep, and learn. Kids almost always know more than adults think. Naming it is the first step to getting help — and stopping violence is adult work.
Part 2. What You Might See, Hear, and Feel — And Why It Is Not Your Fault
You might hear shouting, threats, or crying, or see one adult frighten the other. You might be asked to carry messages, keep secrets, or take sides. Being put in the middle is not fair to you, and you can tell a trusted adult.
Feelings here are all over the place, and every one is normal: scared, angry at one or both adults, sad, guilty, embarrassed to have friends over, relieved when the frightening adult leaves, and confused because that same adult can also be kind. Loving someone and being frightened of what they do can both be true.
Now the part to memorize: it is not your fault. Not because of your grades, your noise, or your behavior. Adults sometimes say someone "made" them lose control. That is not true — each adult is responsible for their own actions. And you are not responsible for stopping it — not by behaving perfectly, not by getting between them. Kids who try to stop fights can get hurt. Your job is only to get safe and tell a trusted adult.
Part 3. Safe Places and a Plan You Can Use
You cannot control what adults do, but you can have a plan for the frightening moments. Think it through now, while things are calm.
Safe places in the home: a room with a door you can close, away from the fight — ideally not a kitchen or bathroom. Sometimes the safest place is outside: a neighbor's porch or a relative's home nearby. Learn the route when nothing is happening.
During a fight: do not go into the room, and do not get between adults. Go to your safe place. If you safely can, take younger brothers or sisters with you. If someone is about to be seriously hurt, calling 911 is the right move — Part 4 explains how.
After a fight: things may go quiet or one adult may act extra kind. That calm is part of a cycle; it does not mean the problem is finished, and it does not cancel your right to tell. If you are hurt, tell a trusted adult the same day.
Your plan in your head: my safe place is _; my outside safe place is _; my trusted adults are ___; if I cannot talk out loud, I can text HOME to 741741.
Part 4. Telling a Trusted Adult and Calling for Help
Telling is not snitching or betraying your family. It is how the adult safety system finds your family. Good people to tell: a safe relative, a teacher, counselor, school nurse, coach, or a friend's parent. Use plain words: "At home, one adult frightens and hurts the other. I am scared, and I need help."
If the first adult does not act, tell the next one. Keep telling until someone helps. You can also call Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, where advocates help family members too.
Calling 911: if someone is being hurt now, or you fear serious injury, call 911. Say your address if you know it and what is happening. If you cannot talk safely, call and leave the line open if you can, make any sound you safely can — dispatchers are trained for silent calls — or get to a neighbor and call from there. You will never be in trouble for calling 911 to protect someone.
What happens next is decided by adults, because of adult actions — never because a child told the truth about being scared.
Part 5. Coping, Friends, and Knowing You Deserve Safety
Living with fear at home can follow you: trouble sleeping or concentrating, stomachaches, feeling jumpy at loud voices. Those are normal reactions to something hard — not something wrong with you. Things that help: telling a counselor; routines with safe people; rest and easy friends; and calling or texting 988, or texting HOME to 741741, on nights your feelings get too big.
A good friend believes you, does not spread it around, and encourages you to tell an adult. You do not owe anyone the full story.
Hold on to this: control and fear are not what love looks like, and calm after a fight is part of a cycle, not a cure. You deserve a home where nobody is frightened. Asking for that is the strongest move in this lesson.
Words to know — Domestic Violence
- Domestic violence — a pattern where one person at home uses harm, threats, or control to frighten another.
- Coercive control — controlling another's daily life — money, phone, friends, movement — using fear.
- Cycle — tension builds, a frightening incident happens, then calm follows before it builds again.
- Trusted adult — an adult who listens, believes you, keeps you safe, and never asks you to keep secrets about harm.
- Safe place — a place in or outside your home you can go during a fight.
- Code word — a word agreed with a trusted person that means "get help" or "call 911."
- Advocate — a trained helper at a hotline or program who helps people plan for safety.
- 911 silent call — calling 911 when you cannot safely talk, leaving the line open and making any sound you can.
Myths vs facts — Domestic Violence
- Myth: If I behaved better, the fighting would stop. Fact: Violence is caused by the adult choosing it — never by a child's behavior. It is not your fault.
- Myth: It is my job to protect the adult being hurt. Fact: Getting between adults can get you hurt. Your job is a safe place, 911, and a trusted adult — that is how you help.
- Myth: If no one is hit, it is not domestic violence. Fact: Threats, control, isolation, and constant fear are domestic violence too.
- Myth: Telling will only make things worse. Fact: Telling is how help reaches a family. If the first adult does not act, tell the next one.
- Myth: The calm times after a fight mean it is over. Fact: Calm is often part of the cycle. You can tell someone even during calm times.
Think it through — Domestic Violence
At night, Sam, 14, hears his father shouting threats at his mother in the kitchen, then a crash. His 8-year-old sister comes to his room crying. Sam wants to run downstairs and shout at his father to stop. He also knows the trusted neighbor, Mrs. Chen, is home next door.
Walk it through: (1) Sam's urge is loving — and Parts 2 and 3 are clear: getting between adults can get a child hurt, and stopping violence is never a child's job. His job is safety. (2) Part 3's plan: Sam takes his sister, stays out of the kitchen, and goes to his outside safe place — Mrs. Chen's home. (3) Part 4: from there he can call 911 safely. This is a "call now" situation. (4) Later, Sam tells his school counselor, even if things are calm by morning — calm does not cancel telling. (5) Nothing here is Sam's fault. He did the bravest version of helping: he got his sister safe and brought adults in.
Try this — Domestic Violence
- ☐ I have named my safe place inside the home and my outside safe place, and I know how to get to each.
- ☐ I know I will not go into the room where a fight is happening or get between adults — I will go to my safe place and take younger kids with me if I safely can.
- ☐ I have at least two trusted adults named, and I have practiced my telling sentence in plain words.
- ☐ I have saved: 911, 988 (call or text), Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741, Childhelp 1-800-422-4453, National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233.
- ☐ I know how a silent 911 call works: call, leave the line open if I can, make any sound I safely can — or get to a neighbor and call from there.
Resources to keep — Domestic Violence
- 911 — if someone is being hurt now or you fear serious injury.
- Childhelp — 1-800-422-4453 — helpers who listen to kids living with violence at home.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1-800-799-7233 (thehotline.org) — advocates who help family members too.
- 988 (call or text) — support for feelings that get too big.
- Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741 — silent help by text when talking is unsafe.
What you earned / what's next — Domestic Violence
✅ Topic Library — Domestic Violence complete (test score 80% or higher): You can explain domestic violence in plain words, why it is never a child's fault or job to stop, use a safe-place plan, and tell trusted adults — keeping telling until someone helps — including how to call 911 when you cannot talk.
Your certificate
Minister Destiny Testimony Schools Certificate of Completion — Topic Library: Domestic Violence
This certificate is presented by Muslim Ordained Minister Destiny Marie Morgan
Awarded to: ______________________________ (write your name here after you download — your name is never collected or stored by this school)
Date completed: ______________
Congratulations. You learned the truth that matters most: violence at home is never your fault and never your job to stop — getting safe and telling is the bravest help there is. — Minister Destiny Marie Morgan
This is a certificate of educational completion from Minister Destiny Testimony Schools. It is not a state license, a government certification, or legal training for representing anyone.
What's next: Topic Library — Abuse: the kinds of harm in plain words, and telling until you are believed.
Sources
- thehotline.org — National Domestic Violence Hotline, educational pages for family members and young people on abuse and safety
- Childhelp — National Child Abuse Hotline guidance for children living with violence at home
Minister Destiny Testimony Schools — Youth. Educational information only, not legal advice. Help lines: 911 in an emergency · 988 (call/text) · Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741) · Childhelp 1-800-422-4453.